Bible Students

Paul’s View on the Spiritual Aspects of Relationships in Ephesians

You are driving down the freeway, enjoying music. You look around: The sky is beautiful, the mountains look clear, and there are hardly any cars on the road. Suddenly, someone cuts you off out of nowhere. There was no reason to, but they did anyway. You feel anger bubbling up inside of you. Now, why is that? The anger that is festered in your chest, the temptation to curse them: What does the Bible have to say about those feelings? Surveying the book of Ephesians gives a great answer. In Ephesians, Paul gives an explanation for the origin of interpersonal conflicts: demonic influence (on either side), which leads to strife. Now, to the western mind, that sounds outrageous. Emotions are simply the chemical reactions in the brain, caused by environmental stimuli. Right? I believe Paul would answer no. Spiritual forces are active in relationships, and understanding the presence of spiritual influence in relational interactions should change one’s approach to submission and to the “Armor of God”. 

So then, what does Paul have to say about demonic influence in interpersonal relationships? After addressing different areas of strife in chapters three and four of Ephesians (the unity of the Christian body in interpersonal relationships), Paul directs his attention to interpersonal strife as a whole, when he writes,

Finally, be strengthened by the Lord and by his vast strength. Put on the whole armor of God so that you can stand against the schemes of the devil. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers of this darkness, against evil, spiritual forces in the heavens.

Two things immediately pop out in this section: Firstly, the interpersonal strife spoken of for over two chapters by Paul isn’t ultimately between the two individuals involved. Instead, the struggle is against the reader and demonic forces. Secondly, the forces are truly demonic (evil; against God). The phrase “against evil, spiritual forces in the heavens” gives context for the rest of the titles used (“rulers, authorities, powers”, which come from “arche, exousia, dynamis” respectively). Paul paints these three titles as (1) evil and (2) spiritual. This is incredibly important. When strife exists in relationships, Paul says the struggle is ultimately against evil spirits who are influencing the individuals. That is not only true for others, but for us. The same stubbornness and anger that exists in others exists in us, in you, and so in that way you could say the strife which we start is demonically inspired. What then should one do to combat the spiritual forces at work, manifested in relationships? Paul’s argument is to submit to one another, and to put on the “Armor of God”. 

A quick trip to Ephesians one gives an explanation for the first response. He writes first, “…Walk worthy of the calling you have received” (Eph. 4:1), then “…be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another…” (v. 32), and repeatedly he writes to submit, first to one another (5:21), then to have submission and love towards husbands and wives, respectively (v. 22, 25). They are called to love and forgive one another (as the body of Christ), and for those who are married to love and respect eachother in their own prescribed ways. It is written that this happens for (because) “our struggle is not against flesh and blood” (6:12). Through this, Christians should be “making the most of the time” they have (5:16). Christians should be making the most out of each interaction between the Body, for while demonic influence desires that relationships crumble, Christians should desire to build eachother up. 

To love and to submit to others is a great form of protecting relationships from spiritual warfare, but Paul goes on to also instruct the Christians in Ephesus of how to protect themselves from the same sort of spiritual warfare: The Armor of God. In Ephesians six, Paul speaks of the Armor of God, a metaphrocial set of armor composed of a few of the attributes of God, which the believer should be applying to their life. Each part of the armor (belt of truth, breastplate of righteousness, sandals of the gospel of peace, shield of faith, helmet of salvation, and sword of the Word of God) combats emotional deciet and lies. Baugh notes in his commentary on Ephesians that Paul is making an allusion to the armor of the Roman soldiers, something that would be familiar to the audience in Ephesus. All of these things combat the lies and hatred fueled by the demonic powers at work. Truth combats lies; Righteousness combats accusations and makes one blameless before their adversaries; Peace shuns hatred and strife; Faith and Salvation give confidence and steadfastness to the individual; The Spirit (the Word of God) gives truth and sets the individual’s mind straight. All of these things give the believer the strength, both offensively and defensively, to combat the demonic opposition they face in interpersonal strife. 

What then should you do, when the driver cuts you off? Should you give in to the anger, the frustration, the malice that suddenly rose within you? No, rather you should submit yourself in love to them, in kindness and gentleness, putting on the Armor of God in order to combat all evil spiritual forces which oppose you. Through these things God has given you, you will overcome spiritual enemies, not by your own strength or military might, but by the love, kindness, submission, and truth of Christ our God. Therefore, love others, as Christ has also loved you.

Bibliography

Baugh, S. M. Ephesians. Lexham Press, 2016.

Heiser, Michael S. Unseen Realm: Recovering the Supernatural Worldview of the Bible. Lexham Press, 2019.

Kenneth L. Barker and John R. Kohlenberger, The Expositor’s Bible Commentary Abridged Edition. Grand Rapids, Michigan. Zondervan, 1994.