Bible Students

Some Thoughts on “Shrinking the Integrity Gap” by Mattson (11-Conclusion)

When people feel they do not matter to their parents, they feel like they do not matter at all. The more one matures, the more they recognize their own needs, and where they have been lacking in their needs, especially in their development. Many leaders look to pornography, alcohol, or other reliefs to help cover the pain which has not been addressed from childhood. Mature leaders must be willing to examine their childhood and development to see where their needs have not been met, in order to care for others well. If these are not dealt with, leaders will use others to meet their needs rather than being in a mutual relationship to help meet them. 

All people, including leaders, have needs. Christian pastors have needs that need to be met. Emotions should not be used as the determiner of needs. This is the same as the difference between importance and urgency. There are many emotions which seem urgent, but the actual important needs, which are often neglected, must be addressed. Leaders often seek to avoid deep relationships. Empathy is an action, not only a feeling. Brains can change and become more empathetic. People need authentic relationships. They need to be known and know others deeply. Healthy routines of rest and spiritual disciplines are helpful for identifying needs. 

Needs are often confused with sin. The Lord has provided for the needs of His people. God has created us with needs, just like sheep. We are made to have needs in Christ, which are expressed through the body of Christ. The body supplies for the needs of others. We all need the Good Shepherd. When one does not know their needs, they will look to take advantage of others to fill their needs. Many leaders find trauma in their lives and avoid confrontation, seeking to find comfort in overlooking them, without addressing them. Leaders must know their vulnerabilities. 

Green light people are those who make mistakes, and those who do not defend their bad choices. These leaders are not perfect, but own their failures and want to do better. They desire reconciliation. Conflict is inevitable, but good leaders want to confront their issues. 

Yellow light leaders minimize their own problems. They try to talk about the issues, but are unaware of their internal world. They demand evidence for their evil deeds. They claim to own their decisions, but with a little bit of time they are right back where they are. Actions speak louder than words with these leaders. Do not allow leaders to be placed back in places of leaders after this. 

Red light people are wolves in sheeps’ clothing. They confuse the systems around them and seek out people to harm. They do not care about improving, but want to deceive people. It is hard to believe people would want to do this, but we must recognize these kinds of people. 

Leaders must trust in the Lord. We can not give trust to others that we do not have in the Lord. Trust in the Lord leads to an unburdening from both sin and shame of trauma. Jesus is the deliverance from the downsides to leadership and ministry. Jesus came that we would have life. He brings relief right now, and He gave us a new way out. 

Facing the consequences of our sin is difficult, especially in a society that wants to overlook their own sin. However, addressing issues, repenting, and attempting to be reconciled to those we have hurt is a great set of steps toward finishing strong in ministry. Sin is very difficult to deal with, and we need the help of Christ in our day to day to make a way out of sin. 

Leaders today need to focus on integrity in their ministry. There is a real need for pastors of character, who are able to see their own faults, seek to remedy those faults, and seek to reconcile with those who they have hurt with those faults. Trauma is a very present part of the life of the leader, as it is a present part of the life of all people. Christian leaders need to know where their trauma is, and seek the redemptive work of Jesus to remedy this trauma. When the leader seeks to better themselves to serve the Lord, He will provide a way to be sanctified. Leaders must depend on Christ through all things. Weaknesses is not a bad thing in leaders, but a necessity of being human. All people must look to Christ.